So can't eat wheat but not allergic to it

After all the skin prick tests were completed I was despatched to the lab for blood tests, because whilst the skin prick tests indicate no wheat allergy they are not 100% foolproof.

But the allergist suspects that it could be an auto-immune issue, not an allergy, or there again coeliac disease even though I don't have a problem with rye, barley or oats. However to be on the safe side IgE and RAST blood tests should surely tell the truth, I must be allergic to wheat if I can't eat it, right?

There can be few things more irritating than sitting in a waiting room watching people in white coats seemingly wandering around with nothing pressing to do, yet a waiting room full of patients. Why does it take 30 minutes between each patient? It only takes 5 minutes or less to take the blood.

So 1.5 hours later it's finally my turn. My poor husband sitting somewhere in a shopping mall with his mother must be suicidal by now, me having been gone 3 hours, and him stuck with his mother in one of his least favourite places.

Blood sucking done and that's me finished until the results come back or my follow up appointment does.

It's given me something to really think about though. Why can't I eat wheat? Can I be cured if it's not an allergy? What is it? Can I be cured if it's not an allergy? When will I get to see the gastro intestinal specialist I'm being referred to? Can I be cured if it's not an allergy? etc etc.

I also have intense feelings of hatred for the people responsible for my food poisoning in the first place that caused this whole sorry story.

And I feel a fraud. I own and run a website for wheat allergy and intolerance, but it appears I don't have a wheat allergy after all. I can't eat it, but I'm not allergic to it. This is driving me nuts.

My thoughts unfortunately start turning to what it would be like if I were cured. I know I shouldn't think about it, but it's always there in the back of my mind and now it's pushing itself to the front most insistently. Back I tell you back! I can't afford to think that there is a chance that I might be cured.

If I was cured would I go back to eating wheat? Those thoughts need to be squashed right back where they came from. But I don't think I would go back to wheat eating, if only I could go to a restaurant and know that if there was a speck of wheat in my meal I wouldn't be almost hospitalised I'd be happy. I miss good tasting bread like mad, and Twix and Kit Kats. But I would never trust my body not to react to a real piece of wheat such as a slice of bread or a bagel.

It's completely pointless speculating anyway, it only raises hopes that I don't want raised, because coming down to earth will be a bigger bump than if I pessimistically accept there is no cure and no wheat for the rest of my life.

In a way I'm lucky, there are a million things worse for people healthwise than simply being unable to eat wheat. I shouldn't feel so sorry for myself, so get a grip girl, stop all this moaning and get on with what you can do... eating lots of wheat free chocolate.

And roll on my next appointment with Dr charming himself.